Gwendolyn Session 7

What happened to them?

Imaad and Eleanor?

Fuck Imaad and Eleanor, what happened to the others like me

They died, …..I’m so sorry

GET OUT

GET OUT

GET OUT

GET OUT

GET OUT

It is like a drumbeat in my head, from the moment I regain consciousness after sunset I can hear the last discussion with Jarvis and hear him telling me to go. He now truly knows the cruelty and violence that we can inflict, even though he has the knowledge that the Sabbat are not the same as the court I can not blame him for what he is thinking…

That one day I could be like that
_ And I fear sooner than I think,_
_ I’ve seen it happen to older kindred…madness_
_ Like the smallest crack in glass_
_ Coldness spreads the crack though the whole pane_

And yet for Concord as a whole the warehouse had gone well despite the fact I was blinded by the gunfire, it was easy to smooth over it by telling the others I would cover the outside, they didn’t question with what, as usual they carried on. Eleanor had only realised that I was blind when she saw I didn’t react at the sight of Jarvis in her arms and had to guide me around to the vehicles as my sight finally restored itself. Johannes has my respect for the gentle way he placed Jarvis in the back of his vehicle, I have seen other kindred throw down injured ghouls and retainers but he didn’t and for that I am grateful.

I remember the pain on Kingston’s face has he screamed Hiscox’s name into wind calling down flame into the already burning warehouse. I can’t do anything about the past but he now wants retribution and I have promised that I will help him kill my sire. He is eating himself away with the desire to see Lambe die…

James would hate this.

And yet, for the promise of death Kingston gives Jarvis the chance to live.

After I had to admit to Johannes that I couldn’t give Jarvis my blood as I was forbidden by Gaveston, after he mocked me saying there was no laws, Kingston climbed in to the back and looked at me then asked “Do you care about him?”

Do you care about him? I can’t imagine this life without Jarvis, it pains me that each year he grows older, when he is ill I worry, I miss him when he is away from me. Yes, I care.

“For this, you will on my word help me kill your sire.” As usual Kingston’s face was shuttered, ironic given the kindred he wants me to help kill often has the same expression. I nodded and then watched as him cut his wrist and carefully place the wound by Jarvis’s mouth, who hiccupped once when the blood first dripped but then fed from him. The effect was immediate the wounds that threatened Jarvis’s life healed, he turned away from death’s door and back towards life, when Kingston stopped I knew that he would still need hospital care but for weeks rather than months if he was to survive before.

As I watched Jarvis recover I could see him reach out toward and stroke Lestrade’s head but he didn’t speak to me but Kingston did; “Why did you stay?”

And then I was back in that place watching Hiscox burn, my sire on one side and and Curtis the other. I had no choice but to be there but I wanted to be there, James deserved to have a friend there, he did not deserve to die alone. It reminds me sharply that in a week’s time it is the anniversary of his death, one week… I miss him still even after all this time.

“He deserved to have a friend there.” The image of how weak Kingston was after helping Jarvis will stay with me.

As will the memory of Imaad’s anger and demand that I repay a life’s boon by blood, he accepts Johannes offer instead but that demand and anger do not leave my memory of that night.

And so will the images of his aura and that of our new liege Malcolm, the stain of a diabolist swirling though their veins into their auras. Their excuses accepted to the court so does this mean there are three of them in the court, one still hidden or just two. Fear of them is not allayed by Malcolm’s hatred of Hardcastle although maybe deserved, polite to me as a fellow liege of Concord by Balin’s order but yet he treats my fellow Caitiff with distain and orders her like a servant… only hear Silas react as I walk to her.

I doubt myself

_ I doubt the evidence of my eyes_
_ I doubt I am who I think I was_
_ Hiscox I wish you were hear to help me_

Still, hope is given to me by Alison that with the Prince awake again I might free my three childer from the disgrace of banishment and make it harder for the Sabbat or fearful kindred like my sire to hunt them. And then to the Prince at the bar, if I sign his pledge in my blood then he will reconsider their sentence if and only if I can get a member of their bloodline to speak for them…

They ran from me
_ They fear my sire_
_ Can I gain their trust_
_ Will they trust me to help_

And then my nightmare started again, not memories of a long since past age but…

_ The bar changed before my eyes_

_ Prescott and his games and yet the others didn’t see_
Am I going mad?
_ Are Johannes’ words loudly whispered true?_

No rest from this nightmare as Mankiller can’t promise me anything but a vague sense of hope and Fallon’s look cuts me like Jarvis’s did.

Why are you talking to this leech?
_ Why are you talking to this leech?_
_ Why are you talking to this leech?_

I am a monster in both their eyes; Tremeyne probably sees only an animated corpse walking as well, who knows as he has disappeared into the nests of the Sabbat.

Concord has four lieges,
Imaad – a killer with no sense of remorse of his act
Eleanor – the shadows are beginning to curl around her heart
Malcolm – Obsessed with single minded revenge
And me

And I think I am going mad

Gwendolyn Session 7

The Hollow Crown Archabyss